8.
FAMILY EFFECTIVENESS STRATEGIES
Families often fall victim to undiagnosed
or untreated ADD/ADHD. Involving the whole family in treatment
is often essential for a healthy outcome. Here are some
important family treatment issues to consider.
1. Screen other family members for ADD.
ADD usually has genetic underpinnings. When one member has
ADD it is likely another person may have it as well. Trying
to effectively treat one family member when others have
untreated ADD invites frustration and failure. Screen every
member of the immediate family. I have found that when parents
have untreated ADD they have trouble following through on
medication schedules for their children or the parent training
suggestions given as part of the therapy. When a sibling
goes undiagnosed he or she sabotages the process by his
or her own conflict seeking behaviour.
2. Families with one or more persons with
ADD often have serious
communication issues. These families tend to misinterpret
information, react prematurely and have emotional outbursts
over
real or imagined slights. It is essential to teach families
how to listen
and clarifying misunderstandings. Avoid mind reading. Believe
me,
when it comes to mind reading everyone is illiterate. It
is also
essential to teach families with one or more ADD members
to
communicate in a clear unemotional manner. Emotionality
decreases effectiveness in communication.
3. Calm the drive towards turmoil. As I
have mentioned many times, ADD children, teenagers and adults
are experts at getting others to yell at them. It is essential
therefore, to teach families how to calm volatile situations.
Teaching simple breathing techniques to all family members
can be valuable in calming disagreements. Also the use of
family time outs helps when a situation starts to deteriorate.
In a family time out situation everyone in the family goes
to a quiet part of the house for a designated period of
time (10-15 minutes). This should be used when all voices
are raised or someone is losing control. Of course family
time out needs to be set up ahead of time if they are going
to work in calming difficult situations.
4. Getting rid of the guilt.
5.
Dealing with the embarrassment. Embarrassment is a common
feeling among ADD family members. Outrageous behaviour and
public displays of turmoil often lead family members to
want to hide from the outside world. Siblings complain that
their friends tease them at school because of their brothers
or sisters behaviour. Parents are frequently subjected to
disapproving looks from the store clerks or other parents
who have perfect kids. Understanding ADD helps families
deal with the embarrassment.
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© 2003 The Kids Clinic
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