5.
THE REWARD SYSTEM
Many
parents' object to the use of a reward system when it
comes to reinforcing good behaviour. They say, "I'm
not going to bribe my child to behave." They should
do it anyway. I respond that the definition of a bribe
is to give someone something to encourage them to do something
illegal. Behaviour is not illegal! Generally, adults would
not go to work if there were not some sort of payoff.
It is important to think that children also work for goals
and payoffs that run them on. For difficult kids it is
often necessary to set up a token system or a point system
to help keep them on track. Here is a simple 5 step point
or chip system that has worked well for hundreds of parents.
1.
Choose:
a) 3 chores (such as doing the dishes, cleaning his or
her room, vacuuming, feeding the animals, etc.)
b) 3 Behaviours (such as treating his or her sister well,
getting ready for school on time, doing what Mom and Dad
say the first time, etc.)
2.
Assign a point or poker chip value to each chore and behaviour,
depending on how difficult each is for the child to accomplish.
If the child has a lot of trouble doing something, make
it worth more points or chips then something he or she
does easily. Add up the possible points or chips the child
can get each day. Also let the child know that he or she
can earn bonus points or chips for specially cooperative
and pleasant behaviour. Tell the child that points or
chips will be given only for chores and behaviours done
on the first request. If you have to repeat yourself the
child will not get any points or chips and he or she will
still have to do it!
3.
Establish
two lists of rewards:
a) One for future incentives that the child wishes to
work for (a toy, having a friend spend the night, a special
trip to a restaurant or arcade, renting a video, etc.)
b)
A second list for every day rewards (watching TV, playing
with friends, playing video games, staying up an extra
half hour, etc.)
4.
Determine the point value necessary to redeem each reward.
About half should be spent on every day rewards. This allows
the child, if they have a really good day, to save about
half of the accumulated points or chips for special rewards
down the line.
5.
Add
up the points every day. Allow the child to use his or her
rewards to buy every day privileges and keep a savings account
for points or chips to be used later on. This works to teach
them the value and need for saving.
Note:
1.
Initially make the system very reinforcing so that children
will want to participate. You can slowly tighten the reins
on it as their behaviour improves.
2.
You can use the reward for almost any behaviour you like.
3.
Reward as quickly as possible.
4.
Do not give chips or points away before the actual behavior
or chore is done. In this system there is no credit.
5.
Administer clear, unemotional consequences for negative
behaviour. In order for consequences to be effective they
must be used with the other steps in shaping behaviour,
(i.e. Clear expectations and positive reinforcement.) Consequences
by themselves change nothing, but when used in conjunction
with other steps of the program, they can be very powerful
in helping parent the difficult child.
