5.
THE REWARD SYSTEM
Many
parents' object to the use of a reward system when it comes
to reinforcing good behaviour. They say, "I'm not going
to bribe my child to behave." They should do it anyway.
I respond that the definition of a bribe is to give someone
something to encourage them to do something illegal. Behaviour
is not illegal! Generally, adults would not go to work if
there were not some sort of payoff. It is important to think
that children also work for goals and payoffs that run them
on. For difficult kids it is often necessary to set up a
token system or a point system to help keep them on track.
Here is a simple 5 step point or chip system that has worked
well for hundreds of parents.
1.
Choose:
a) 3 chores (such as doing the dishes, cleaning his or her
room, vacuuming, feeding the animals, etc.)
b) 3 Behaviours (such as treating his or her sister well,
getting ready for school on time, doing what Mom and Dad
say the first time, etc.)
2.
Assign a point or poker chip value to each chore and behaviour,
depending on how difficult each is for the child to accomplish.
If the child has a lot of trouble doing something, make
it worth more points or chips then something he or she does
easily. Add up the possible points or chips the child can
get each day. Also let the child know that he or she can
earn bonus points or chips for specially cooperative and
pleasant behaviour. Tell the child that points or chips
will be given only for chores and behaviours done on the
first request. If you have to repeat yourself the child
will not get any points or chips and he or she will still
have to do it!
3.
Establish two lists of rewards:
a) One for future incentives that the child wishes to work
for (a toy, having a friend spend the night, a special trip
to a restaurant or arcade, renting a video, etc.)
b)
A second list for every day rewards (watching TV, playing
with friends, playing video games, staying up an extra half
hour, etc.)
|
