Behavioral Modification 4 - Steps to shaping up Positive Behaviour

4. STEPS TO SHAPING UP POSITIVE BEHAVIOUR

Re-training behaviour patterns or behaviour modification involves several clear steps:

Step 1:

Define the desirable or undesirable behaviours specifically. Before you can shape behaviour, it is critical to clearly know exactly what behaviours you want and what behaviours you don't want.

Step 2:

Establish a baseline period of how often either negative or positive behaviour occurs. Take some time (a week to a month to keep a log on how many times a behaviour occurs). For example, if the desired behaviour is getting homework done before the child or teen goes out of the house, keep a log on how many times that occurs during the baseline period. Doing this will allow you to know whether your interventions are effective.

Step 3:

Communicate rules and expectations clearly. Establishing clear, written rules and expectations is the next step in effective behaviour modification. These rules need to give direction towards the child's behaviour. When the child knows what is expected, he or she is much more likely to be able to give it. Too often parents believe that children should know how to act without the rules being clearly communicated to them.

Children respond to symbols of rules in the environment (traffic signals, posted rules at the pool, etc.) Written rules have power! They let children know what is expected of them in a clear way. They keep the standards of good behaviour unambiguous and serve as a touch point for clear unemotional consequences.

Here is the set of rules that I have found helpful, both for my own household and for my patients. Post them up where the family can see them every day.

FAMILY RULES

1. Tell the truth.

2. Treat each other with respect (which means no yelling, no hitting, no kicking, no name calling and no putting down.)

3. No arguing with parents. As parents we want and value your input and ideas, but arguing means you have made your point more then twice.

4. Respect each other's property (which means we ask permission to use something that does not belong to us).

5. Do what Mom and Dad say the first time (without complaining and throwing a fit).

6. Ask permission before you go somewhere.

7. Put things away that you take out.

8. Look for ways to be kind and helpful to each other.

These rules set the tone and values for the family. They clearly state that there is a line of authority at home and that it is expected that children will follow the rules and respect their parents, siblings and families property. These are good social expectations and teachings. When you tell someone what you expect you are much more likely to get it.

In establishing expectations at home it is often important to use visual clues, such as pictures or short printed directions. Try to minimize verbal directions since people with ADD may have trouble processing verbal input, especially in a noisy environment. Writing expectations down also has the advantage of being able to refer to it later, when the ADD person denies that you ever told him or her about it.

Step 4:

Reward desired behaviour. After clear expectations are given it is essential to praise and reward the behaviour that meets those expectations. When positive behaviour goes unnoticed, it often ceases to exist. Most children, teens and even adults enjoy being noticed by others. Rewards or reinforcement may take many forms. As adults we often work for monetary gain. The more financial benefit the harder we will work, but we also work for praise from our boss or spouse. Our personalities also determine the rewards we are interested in working towards. Children are the same. Some children will work hard to comply for the verbal praise of their parents, while others need different types of rewards. The rewards can be social rewards, such as verbal praise, "I really like it when you…" or physical affection, such as hugs or looks. Material rewards can include toys, food, little presents or surprises. Routine rewards can include sports, trips to the library, park or arcade. Token rewards include style or point systems or money.

Here are some simple principles for rewarding good behaviour:

1. Use more rewards then consequences.

2. Reward as soon as possible after a child fulfills your expectations.

3. Focus your energy on catching them being good.

4. Look for ways to reinforce them.

5. Reward the child in a way he or she likes. All children are different. Use what works and you can probably do that by using one of our workbooks that were provided to you at the end of our evaluation process.

6. Be consistent.

7. Make it to the child's benefit to behave.